I just got back from a family vacation on Lake Michigan, and I'm feeling pretty good having had four days of little to no work, abundant family time, and the soothing effects of water. 

I posted a few pics on social media of a beautiful sunset over the water and a plea to get into nature with a little video of the waves crashing the shore. But I want to be real, too. It took work to get there. Not just this time, but nearly every time.

There's the anxiety that exists before the trip, some normal level extra stressors of making sure the laundry is done and our pet-sitters have what they need. There is also the catastrophic thoughts and panic that can sometimes occur, which thankfully I've learned to manage by redirecting my thoughts and looking at the clear evidence before me.

But as everyone loaded into the car, I began to sob. I had taken a little pill to relax me for the drive -- I tend to be a more anxious passenger than driver, so I knew this would be a good idea. I was having m...

It calls to me, the waves of Lake Michigan

Inward and outward like the breath

Reminding me that there is spaciousness,

There is tender-heartedness and danger wrapped in one.

And that's okay, because we can hold the fear and love--together

Wrapped into the cyclical nature of all things,

Light and dark.

Breathe with me

Once and again, once and again.

Undulation and rebirth, ever more. 

I've still been pondering the message in my previous post, the one about creating our realities. I even posted my musings in this little video if you're curious.

Here's what I keep landing on... what is this difference between perceiving our reality as magical and the "magic" it takes to create something we truly love and feel alive in? 

You see, this experience on Earth is meant to encompass the full range of emotions and experiences. The Yin and Yang and everything in between. We are meant to touch things like love and despair, jealousy and forgiveness, clarity and chaos. 

Yet these feelings and experiences are changeable and transitory. They don't last, we can not stay in one of them and deny the rest, as uncomfortable as it may be. And in fact, what I know about anxiety and its counterpoint is that the more we resist the discomfort the worse it is and longer it lasts. 

So yes, bad stuff happens. And yes, there are things out of our control, but we are always in charge of how we...

Today's inspiration comes from one of my favorite Tarot Decks, The Light Seers Tarot created by Chris-Anne. The images on each card are GORGEOUS and there's just something about the energy infused in these images that make me feel so alive. (And no, I'm not getting any kick backs for saying these things). 

I give the deck a quick shuffle... more like a mix up in my hands and ask aloud, "What do I and my blog readers need to know today?"

Out fly three cards and they hit the floor.

Ohhhh-kay, I think. That was a little chaotic. I pick them up and lay them out in front of me. That's a lot of swords... lol

I'm not a trained Tarot reader in any way, I rely on the booklet to tell me what they generally mean and then I ponder what it means for me, how it could relate... what the message is. 

So here's what we've got. Take what's yours and leave the rest:

8 of Swords: "This is a gentle reminder that you create your reality... When you choose sovereignty over victimhood, you become the fi...

I continued Cognitive Behaviorial Therapy work with Dr. T for a number of years. One day, as we mulled over the latest panic episode I’d had at school, which included a full tachycardia episode in which I needed to put my face on ice in order to bring my heart back to a normal rhythm, he asked me:

“How do you know you can handle panic feelings?”

“Because I do all the time,” I scoffed. Thinking I was just being a smartass. But this wise man sat quietly in front of me for a moment longer so that what I had just said echoed in my mind.

“Huh,” I nodded. “That’s it, isn’t it? I know I can handle feelings of panic, because I survive them ALL the time!”

He smiled, that twinkle in his eye beaming with pride.

“Huh.” I breathed again while he turned back to his desk, pen in hand, and scribbled the words I’d said on the bottom of his legal pad. He tore it off and handed it to me. I read it aloud, “I can handle panic feelings because I do all the time.”

This flip in perspective from “I panic...

Blogs are time sensitive and my website and all its pages were down for two whole days. I didn't know it until after I had written and tried to publish my post for July 10th, ironically about showing up as we are.

Technology, some glitch in the matrix that changed the namerservers, the DNS record, things I don't really understand but make this whole darn web run caused the issue. It took multiple attempts to solve it, helpdesk, chat support bots, watching and waiting for the DNS servers to update. When I woke this morning it was back up, as if nothing had shifted.

But I had shifted. When I wrote Wednesday morning I was feeling pretty raw and rough. So when the site went down and I knew I wouldn't have the time to troubleshoot it until hours later after client sessions I had to surrender. Nothing I could do but wait.

That would be the lesson, with each support email and log in and rebooting and refreshing, I had to just wait. So instead of worrying and fretting about it endlessly, I ...

I started to look for old writing that I could pull from for today. Waking up with a headache and a heaviness in my being, I wasn't sure I could write a blog post today.

But as the minutes past and my search came up empty, I realized that I could write about this. This moment in time where it hurts to smile because all I want to do is cry. When my hormones are surging in the days before my period so much so that everything inside and out is tender.

These are the days when I congratulate myself for taking a shower. For switching the music to something more soothing, a subtle lift in vibration rather than trying to fake the dance party. These are the moments when wisdom waits for time, when slowing is demanded, even though I have a full day of serving others in their various states of being and expansion.

We do this because it's love. It's love to breathe in deep, to acknowledge the sadness we can not name. It's love to show up as we are, here with words, out there with compassion.  I...

"Nothing good was ever easy." 

It's a quote derived from Theodore Roosevelt who said, more specifically, “Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty…"

My rebel self wants rage against this. "Life doesn't have to be so hard!" And yet, the most prized accomplishments, the most beautiful moments came because we cared enough to work harder for something.

Did we need to suffer endlessly? No. And I think that's the true distinction here. Something can be challenging without causing suffering. Some stretching, yes. A little sore, of course. Some things toppled over or released? Definitely. But we don't have to spend time whirling in the downward spiral of difficulty. 

In fact, keeping that extra layer out of the equation will speed up the process of working toward what we want to accomplish. Simply by acknowledging that the work IS hard allows us  keep going and stop the voices in our heads that shame us for taking too long, or what an idi...

It's interesting to be in the middle of a thousand things and still be able to find some sense of peace. My mind likes to second guess it at first, a short and messy mindfulness practice when I can get to it or prioritize it. The parts of ourselves that like to keep a running list of things that aren't done yet, of phones calls we've been putting off making, of the dishes in the sink.

But mindfulness, in the moment, can include those things as long as we place them on a little cloud and watch them float away in the mind's eye. I rely on nature to bring me back to the present, because its beauty calls me inward - reflecting something perhaps.

Today, as I sat quietly on my porch it was the deep, bright blue of the sky. The lush green of the leaves on the trees after a few days of rain. The warbling of the wrens and the faint tinkering of the wind chimes behind me. Nature is not always quiet, but it knows how to quiet our thoughts and pull us into the present. For that, I'm grateful.

C...

I often find inspiration from the wisdom of others, the collective and integrated parts of our humanity inextricably linked together helps us expand individually as well. Today, that wisdom comes from Eve Ensler, playwright and author who said: "When we give the world what we want the most, we heal the broken part inside of each of us."

I suppose then, this is what I am hoping to do with my upcoming memoir, Every Day, I'm Brave. As I work to finalize and piece together all its parts, I've come to a deeper knowing that what so many, including myself, really want is to be seen, heard, and loved both as we are in our full expression and through the work we do to better ourselves.

We are not broken, but parts of us feel deeply broken.

The parts that are afraid or constantly worry so much so that we are paralyzed and stunted with inaction. The parts that are unwilling or unable to open more fully to receive love because it's been hurt before. The parts that are sabotaging the dreams and ...