It's Not Easy, But It's Worth It

I just got back from a family vacation on Lake Michigan, and I'm feeling pretty good having had four days of little to no work, abundant family time, and the soothing effects of water. 

I posted a few pics on social media of a beautiful sunset over the water and a plea to get into nature with a little video of the waves crashing the shore. But I want to be real, too. It took work to get there. Not just this time, but nearly every time.

There's the anxiety that exists before the trip, some normal level extra stressors of making sure the laundry is done and our pet-sitters have what they need. There is also the catastrophic thoughts and panic that can sometimes occur, which thankfully I've learned to manage by redirecting my thoughts and looking at the clear evidence before me.

But as everyone loaded into the car, I began to sob. I had taken a little pill to relax me for the drive -- I tend to be a more anxious passenger than driver, so I knew this would be a good idea. I was having moments of severe separation anxiety from the dogs, I worried about the weather, repeatedly refreshing the doppler radar on my phone, and the list of things that could go wrong ran rampant in my imagination.

Here's the thing though, I got in the car anyway.

I buckled my seatbelt and blew kisses to each person in the car (a ritual I started when the kids were little, adding some extra protection of love for a car trip). Still in tears, I settled in next to the snack bag and took a sip of water. As we drove away, I closed my eyes and just surrendered to the experience because I knew it would pass, as it always does. 

And that's how we do it. To get on the other side of fear, we have to move through it, and when we arrive at our destination, it's worth the tears.