Yesterday I got seriously stuck in an OCD loop. It's something that rarely happens, but the combined energy of roaring PMS, a brief argument with my partner, and maybe some planet in retrograde made it so that I had to keep assuring myself that the dishes I had just put away were in fact clean.

I was preparing my breakfast and had taken a bowl down from the cabinet and filled it with a half a cup of dry oats. Then the intrusive question came: Did I actually run the dishwasher last night?

The doubt settles in. I go back in my mind and retrace my steps. I see myself putting the soap in, pressing start, turning the clean/dirty magnet on its side--the cue to anyone in the house that the dishwasher is running and not to open it. 

When I came into the kitchen this morning the magnet had been on its side, but the "clean" light was off. Someone had opened it before I put the dishes away. Because I didn't see the light on with my own eyes, it triggered more doubt.

I am...

I'm really good at distracting myself with "other important work tasks."  For example, I opened my laptop today with the sole intention of writing this blog post. Instead, what I did first was spend about 20-30 minutes going down the tech rabbit hole to try and figure out how to get my RSS feed to automatically send my subscribers a new email every time I post. 

I thought I had it down, I researched and found the steps - but my platform doesn't speak the same language as the steps I found and I'm at a loss. Multiple google searches and chat bot sessions later, I'm no further and it's Saturday, so I have to wait until Monday to talk to a real person.

All that is to say that my initially thought of "Oh, I'll set this up before I post the blog so my subscribers get it" instead of sticking to my original intention to open my laptop and write set me up for a common pattern I've had where I'm rushing to get the thing I intended to do done because I got distracted by other tasks....

Yesterday, I was listening to a couple episodes of The Mel Robbins Podcast while driving kids around for various activities and food drop-offs. While I love most of what Mel Robbins puts out in the world, I was particularly struck by her view of "Imposter Syndrome," and keep coming back to it in my mind.

We all know it's a load of crap, but Mel doesn't even want us to go there. She wants to discount its existence all together because even the title of that feeling brings about this energy of falsehood. Instead, Robbins said, we need to think of ourselves as beginners or learners. 

Regardless of where we are on the path of achieving a goal or a dream, there is always more to learn. So we don't need to even worry about imposter syndrome!

This stuck with me because it's a feeling I've dealt with on and off much of my adult life. As a writer, as a teacher, as a business owner, and a leader.

But you know what? Mel's right. It's a bullshit feeling and we don't need to...