It is often a matter of simple inquiry. Dr. T would say to me: "What if..." and then I knew a shift in perspective would eventually come. 

"What if you just let it be there?"

"What if you could allow more space for it?"

"What if you stopped fighting so hard?"

The "it" of course, was the fear. It shows up as anxiety in the mind, fearful thoughts, and very real physical symptoms of panic that run the gamut between just a little uneasy to full a on dissociative sense of unreality, like Alice in Wonderland where the floor grows and shrinks underneath her.

What if... I just allowed it to be there, made more space for it to exist, rather than fighting it or wishing it would just go away? That simple shift created breathing room and a sense of self-compassion (instead of the "why am I this way" or "I need to fix this" thoughts and feelings that don't do anybody any good). 

I distinctly remember the moment when I realized that fear and anxiety was never going away. That nothing I...